Genitals are some of the most judged, hidden, and misunderstood parts of the human body.

They’ve been:

• compared to porn “ideals”
  
• shamed in locker rooms
  
• pathologized in medical settings
  
• labeled “dirty,” “too much,” or “not enough”
  

And yet, this is also where life, profound pleasure, and deep bonding begin.

In this conversation, Dr. Saida and Aaron explore genital adoration—not as a performance, not as porn, but as a healing, sensual, and relational practice that can:

• rewire shame into reverence
  
• build genuine sexual confidence
  
• deepen emotional and erotic intimacy in relationships
  
• support healing after trauma, birth, injury, or negative experiences
  

This article will walk you through:

1. What genital adoration actually is (and isn’t)
   
2. Why so many people struggle to love their own genitals
   
3. How adoration can re-pattern shame and fear
   
4. Gentle practices to start with yourself
   
5. Ways to bring genital adoration into partnership—without pressure
   
6. How techniques like Suction Sex™ can be woven in with more reverence
   

Then, in the members-only section, you’ll get explicit, step-by-step rituals, touch sequences, and language you can actually use in bed (or in the bath, or on the couch).

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1. What Is Genital Adoration?

Genital adoration is a conscious practice of:

• Visually admiring your genitals (or your partner’s)
  
• Sensing and appreciating their textures, smells, sounds, and sensations
  
• Speaking to them with kindness, praise, and gratitude
  
• Treating them as sacred, living parts of you—not just tools, not just “sex parts,” not just problems to fix
  

It’s not:

• Performing for your partner
  
• Forcing yourself to like something you don’t
  
• Using praise as a manipulation to “get sex”
  
• Ignoring trauma or pain
  

It’s a relational shift:

From “my genitals are weird, ugly, or wrong”
To “my genitals are unique, lovable, and worthy of devotion.”

And that shift can happen first with yourself, then in partnership, and eventually as a deeper embodied “home base” in your sexual life.

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2. Why So Many People Struggle to Love Their Genitals

Most people didn’t grow up in a culture that taught reverence for genitals. Instead, they absorbed:

2.1. Comparison & Unrealistic Ideals

• Vulvas compared to airbrushed porn images
  
• Penises measured against locker-room comments or exaggerated stories
  
• “Neat” tucked labia vs. naturally full, long, or petal-like labia
  
• “Ideal” size, color, smell, and shape
  

This creates a silent, chronic question inside many people:

“Am I normal? Am I acceptable? Would anyone still want me if they really saw me?”

2.2. Shaming & Objectification

Shaming can come from:

• Partners (“That’s gross”, “What is that?”)
  
• Friends or peers
  
• Medical professionals who speak carelessly
  
• Cultural or religious messaging around purity and dirtiness
  

Objectification does its own damage:

• Being treated as a body part, not a whole human
  
• Being valued only when genitals are “performing” perfectly
  
• Feeling like genitals are weapons, trophies, or proof of worth
  

2.3. Trauma, Injury, and Medical Harm

For many, there is also real injury or trauma:

• Genital mutilation or cutting traditions
  
• Non-consensual experiences
  
• Painful medical procedures
  
• Surgeries (e.g., labiaplasty, birth trauma, scars)
  
• Functional changes (e.g., erectile issues, pain, decreased sensation)
  

In those cases, genitals don’t just carry shame—they carry fear, grief, anger, and hypervigilance.

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3. Why Practice Genital Adoration?

Genital adoration isn’t just “feeling good about yourself.” It actively reshapes how your body and nervous system experience sexuality.

3.1. It Rewrites Your Inner Story

If your internal narrative is:

• “I’m gross.”
  
• “I’m broken.”
  
• “I’m too much / not enough.”
  

Then your body will often:

• Tense up
  
• Shut down pleasure
  
• Struggle to get aroused, stay aroused, or climax
  
• Avoid intimacy to avoid being “seen”
  

Adoration gently rewires this story into:

• “I am lovable here.”
  
• “I am unique, not defective.”
  
• “My pleasure is worthy and safe.”
  

3.2. It Enhances Sexual Function

When you feel safe and desired:

• The pelvic floor can relax.
  
• Blood flow improves.
  
• Nerves become more responsive.
  
• Lubrication and erections can improve.
  
• Orgasm can feel fuller and easier.
  

For many, regular genital adoration practices lead to:

• More sensation
  
• Easier arousal
  
• More consistent orgasms
  
• Better erections
  
• Less pain
  

3.3. It Builds Resilience

When you build a solid, loving relationship with your own genitals, one person’s careless or cruel comment no longer becomes the final authority.

You may still feel hurt, but you don’t collapse. You have:

• Your own internal reference of beauty and worth
  
• Your own rituals of care and love
  
• Partners who reflect reverence rather than disgust
  

That resilience is crucial for long-term sexual wellbeing.

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4. Starting With Yourself: Self-Genital Adoration

If receiving praise from a partner feels overwhelming, the most powerful place to start is with yourself.

4.1. Step 1 – Gentle Visual Meeting

If and when you feel ready:

1. Choose a quiet, private moment.
   
2. Sit or lie down somewhere comfortable with good light.
   
3. Use a mirror to look at your genitals—slowly, without rushing.
   

You are not evaluating. You’re simply meeting them.

You might notice:

• Colors
  
• Shapes
  
• Folds, twists, fullness
  
• Scars, marks, hair patterns
  

If judgment comes up (“ugly”, “too big”, “too small”)—that’s normal. Just name it mentally:

“Judgment is here. And I’m still staying.”

4.2. Step 2 – Stream-of-Consciousness Writing

If verbal praise feels impossible at first, start with writing:

1. Set a timer for 5–10 minutes.
   
2. Either look at your genitals or keep them in mind.
   
3. Write down every word or phrase that comes up—without censoring.
   

Often it goes like this:

• Day 1–3: a lot of negative words, shame, disgust, grief.
  
• Day 4+: you start to run out of insults, and your system begins to notice something else: texture, softness, strength, uniqueness, resilience.
  

This shift is the beginning of reframing.

4.3. Step 3 – Spoken Praise (Even If You Don’t Believe It Yet)

Once you’re used to looking, begin speaking out loud:

You might say things like:

• “You are mine, and you are worthy of love.”
  
• “You’ve been through so much, and you’re still here.”
  
• “Thank you for the pleasure and life you carry.”
  
• “You are beautiful to me—exactly as you are right now.”
  

If you’re living with visible STIs like herpes, these kinds of statements can be deeply healing:

• “Even with outbreaks, you are not dirty. You’re still worthy of love, touch, and pleasure.”
  
• “I choose to speak tenderness to you, not hate.”
  

You don’t have to “feel” it fully immediately. The repetition over time begins to change the internal landscape.

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5. Genital Adoration in Partnership (Without Pressure)

Once you’ve begun to relate differently to your own genitals, bringing this into partnership becomes much easier.

5.1. Rule #1 – No Agenda

Adoration works best when:

• It is not a covert way to “get sex.”
  
• It can happen without intercourse or orgasm afterwards.
  
• It’s offered as a gift, not a transaction.
  

Imagine your partner saying:

• “I just want to spend a few minutes praising your vulva/penis—no expectations, no next step. Just let me adore you.”
  

That’s the energy you’re aiming for.

5.2. Verbal Adoration: Talking To the Genitals

You can literally address the genitals directly, not just “the person” in general.

Examples:

• “Hi beautiful. Thank you for everything you’ve given us—pleasure, children, closeness.”
  
• “I love your smell, your weight in my hand, the way you swell, the way you soften.”
  
• “You’re perfect in every state—soft, hard, wet, relaxed. All of it is welcome.”
  

You can even “pray” to the genitals:

• “May you feel safe. May you feel seen. May you heal from past harms. May you know how loved you are.”
  

5.3. Visual Adoration: Loving Gaze

For many people (especially those with vulvas), simply being gazed at with love, kindness, and curiosity can be incredibly intense.

No touching. No talking. Just:

• Relaxed, present eye contact with their genitals
  
• Warm facial expression (not clinical, not analytical)
  
• Soft breathing
  

For someone who has never been truly seen there except through pornified or critical lenses, this alone can be life-changing.

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6. Sensory Adoration: Sight, Sound, Smell, Taste, Touch

Genital adoration can engage all five senses.

6.1. Sight

• Watching how genitals change with arousal
  
• Noticing color shifts, swelling, engorgement
  
• Admiring scars, folds, asymmetry as part of their story
  

6.2. Sound

• Moans and sighs that express appreciation
  
• Verbal praise (“You smell incredible”, “You taste amazing”)
  
• Gentle laughter and playfulness that includes the genitals instead of shaming them
  

6.3. Smell

Smell is extremely primal.

Examples:

• Gently inhaling your partner’s scent and letting them see your enjoyment
  
• Sleeping with a partner’s worn underwear when they’re away
  
• Letting them know: “Your natural smell turns me on so much.”
  

For many people, this directly counters the fear:

“If they smell me, they’ll be disgusted.”

6.4. Taste

If oral sex is part of your dynamic:

• Let your enjoyment show—through sound, words, and relaxed presence
  
• Mention specific things you love: “I love how you taste when you’re relaxed / just waking up / after we’ve been playing.”
  

6.5. Touch

Touch can be:

• Presence touch: hand resting over vulva/penis with warmth and stillness
  
• Affection touch: gentle cupping, stroking, holding without trying to “get them going”
  
• Heart-connected touch: imagining love moving from your chest through your hands into their genitals
  

In many traditions, the hands and tongue are seen as extensions of the heart. The quality of your touch carries the truth of your feelings.

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7. Healing Shame, Trauma, and Injury Through Adoration

Genital adoration can be deeply healing when you’re navigating:

• Past shaming comments (“That’s gross”, “Don’t do that”, “You’re too wet”, “You’re not big enough”)
  
• Loss of function (erections, lubrication, orgasm, sensation)
  
• Birth injuries or scarring
  
• Difficult medical procedures
  
• Episodes where your body shut down pleasure (e.g., squirting stopping after being shamed)
  

Adoration helps by:

• Offering steady, loving attention instead of judgment
  
• Allowing the body to decide when and how to reopen
  
• Validating grief and anger, not bypassing it
  
• Rebuilding trust between you and your body (and between partners)
  

When a partner adds:

• Consistent encouragement
  
• Spaciousness (“you’re enough as you are today”)
  
• Zero pressure to perform
  

…healing often accelerates.

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8. Bringing in Suction Sex™ and Other Techniques With Reverence

Techniques like Suction Sex™—where micro-movements, subtle pressure, and “sealing” between genitals create deep, slow, full-body sensations—can be powerful.

Within the frame of genital adoration, Suction Sex™ becomes less about:

• “Doing a cool technique”
  

And more about:

• Listening to what the body loves
  
• Using smaller, more intentional movements
  
• Valuing comfort and connection over performance
  

As pregnancy, age, or life changes shift how genitals feel (e.g., cervix becomes more sensitive in pregnancy, vaginal canal length changes), Suction Sex™ and similar practices can be adapted:

• More side-to-side or windshield-wiper motions instead of deep thrusting
  
• Shallower penetration with more focus on sealing, pressure, and rhythm
  
• Matching the technique to what feels safe and pleasurable that day
  

Adoration keeps technique in its proper place:
as a servant to connection, not a master.

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9. A Simple Starting Practice (Solo or Partnered)

Here’s a gentle, PG-friendly version you can try:

1. Set the frame
   
   • “I want to spend a few minutes just appreciating this part of your body / my body. No expectations, no pressure.”
     
2. Hands over genitals (through clothes or directly)
   
   • Breathe into your chest.
     
   • Imagine warmth, kindness, and affection building there.
     
3. Send warmth down
   
   • Imagine that warmth traveling down your arms, into your hands, into your genitals (or your partner’s).
     
   • Notice any tingles, heat, or emotion.
     
4. Whisper 3–5 phrases
   
   • “Thank you for everything you’ve carried.”
     
   • “You’re allowed to rest.”
     
   • “You’re allowed to feel good.”
     
   • “You’re wanted here.”
     
5. Pause and listen
   
   • Notice feelings, images, memories, or sensations that arise.
     
   • No need to “fix” anything—just witness.
     

Done regularly, this becomes a new baseline of friendship between you and your genitals.

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Members-Only Deep Dive: Explicit How-To for Genital Adoration

The following section is best kept inside a members-only space. It includes more explicit language, specific touch instructions, and intimate rituals.

A. Verbal Rituals You Can Use Tonight

To your partner’s genitals (spoken to them, not about them):

• “You’ve given us so much—pleasure, closeness, connection. Thank you.”
  
• “I love how you look when you’re soft, and I love how you look when you swell.”
  
• “Your smell is mine. I could find you in the dark just by scent.”
  
• “You’re safe with me. I won’t rush you. I’m just here to adore you.”
  

To your own genitals (solo):

• “You are not disgusting. You are sacred and alive.”
  
• “Even with scars, wrinkles, or outbreaks—you are still worthy of worship.”
  
• “I’m learning to love you. I’m staying, even when old shame comes up.”
  

B. Sensual (and Explicit) Partner Ritual

Ritual: Cheek, Heart, and Mouth

1. Cheek Rest (Safety & Acceptance)
   
   • One partner lies on their back, relaxed.
     
   • The other gently lays their cheek over vulva/penis/scrotum, fully clothed or naked.
     
   • No movement, no agenda, just breathing.
     
   • Optional whisper: “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”
     
2. Heart-to-Genitals (Overflowing Love)
   
   • Partner shifts to place their bare chest (heart center) directly over the other’s genitals.
     
   • Let the heartbeat and warmth wash into them.
     
   • This can be calming after a hard day without needing to lead to sex.
     
3. Scent Adoration
   
   • Gently part the thighs.
     
   • Inhale slowly, eyes closed, then open, letting them see your pleasure.
     
   • Optional phrases:
     
     • “This smell is home.”
       
     • “This is my favorite scent in the world.”
       
4. Oral Blessing
   
   • Optional: gentle kiss or lick, very slow, with no rush toward climax.
     
   • Think: devotional, not goal-driven.
     
   • You can “wash” them with your mouth—like a royal bath—after sex as a closing ritual.
     

C. Using Suction Sex™ Within Adoration

When using Suction Sex™:

• Focus on small, intentional movements—micro-pulses, gentle rotations, deep stillness with subtle shifts.
  
• Treat it as a way to listen to the cervix, vaginal canal, and penis head—not to “impress.”
  
• If your partner is pregnant, explore:
  
  • Shallower penetration combined with more lateral movement
    
  • Letting the cervix “come to you” rather than chasing depth
    
  • Using your hands on the uterus/belly to feel how movement travels through the womb
    

Always keep adoration primary:

• Check in verbally: “Is this still good?”
  
• Stop if discomfort or spotting shifts into heavier bleeding.
  
• Let their sensations—not your agenda—lead the way.
  

D. Healing After Injury or Harsh Comments

A simple repair ritual, if your genitals have been shamed or injured:

1. Name the hurt:
   
   • “When he/she/they said X, a part of me shut down.”
     
2. Place a hand on your genitals (or your partner’s) and say:
   
   • “You didn’t deserve that. You were never the problem.”
     
3. Add physical reassurance:
   
   • Warm hand, cheek rest, or heart rest
     
   • Slow breathing together
     
4. Close with a clear, new statement:
   
   • “From now on, you get to be treated like the gift you are.”
     

Repeated over time, this helps the body trust again.

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Gentle Call to Action

If this resonated with you, this is your invitation to:

• Start a small daily practice of self-adoration (even 2–3 minutes).
  
• Share the idea of genital adoration with your partner and experiment with one simple ritual together.
  
• Explore our members-only content where we go deeper into:
  
  • Guided scripts you can read or listen to during your rituals
    
  • Detailed Suction Sex™ explorations within an adoration frame
    
  • Healing practices for those with trauma, STIs, injuries, or birth-related changes
    

Your genitals are not a problem to fix. They’re a powerful, sensitive, wise part of you that can become a source of pride, joy, and deep connection—for life.

Link to original podcast